Friday, September 18, 2015

Why Don't You Marry It?

Man, I love fantasy football.

I forgot how much fun it is. Or, maybe, it was never this fun before but this time around (it's been six years I think?) and the circumstances have changed. This time, I'm the co-manager of the league (per Steve's request)...however, due to Steve-O's notorious distractibility (not to mention his new baby) I've been pretty much the de facto manager. I got to set up divisions, adjust the scoring, and create the trophies. I get to post bulletin board material and do league-wide emails, build snarky "power rankings," and send trash-talking videos (a new feature on ESPN) if I so choose.

However, even without my "lordly status" I'm still having fun due in no small part to the fact that I know most of the players in my league. In the past, I played in my buddy's existing league featuring dudes he went to college with...people whom I had never met. How can you talk trash with complete strangers?

Because smack talk is a big part of this game. At least, our game...there's no money on the line, so the only "win" here is to show-up your opponents. I don't know why competition brings out "jerk-ness" in people (and our talk is pretty mild-mannered compared to some I've seen or read about)...it just does. It's not enough to (electronically) shake hands and tell your opponent "good luck," letting the numbers fall where they may. No, there's crowing and chest-beating and outright gloating.

It's not like you're going to "get into the head" of your opponent...it's not your opponent that's carrying the ball and scoring TDs!

There was outright panic on the message board last night from my opponent...for a Thursday night game! With no money on the line! The guy was writing things like 'Jeez, I need to play catch up!' and 'You killing me!' My only active "player" last night was the Kansas City defense...something I got off waivers the day before. Yeah, they outperformed their projection...but my opponent still has eight players to play on Sunday. There's no reason to start quaking in your boots!

I guess I'm not the only drama queen out there.

It's just a game, but it is a fun game. Dudes my age who feel D&D is too "nerdy" to play are nerding out all over the country (and the world...I'm in South America, after all) playing fantasy football. Fat asses parked in front of their TVs...laptop in one hand, cold beer in the other...combing over match-ups, counting points, reading Athalon sports mags, checking the fantasy line crawl on the ESPN...

Does it get more nerdy than that?

ANYWAY...as I semi-predicted a while back, it's become a bit of a distraction. I have gotten a few pages of the new project written this week, but I find myself getting a little depressed about it. Like, I just can't find a way to justify writing a 200 or 400 page ruleset. How the hell do people DO that, really? If this gets up to 50 pages, I'll be lucky...which then gives me the problem of "what kind of format" should I use make this look nice and professional (and, thus, buyable)? No one wants to pay $10 for something that looks like a soft-cover pamphlet. And the production costs will be more than that if I want to pay for decent art. Ugh.

Putting together a decent fantasy team is a lot easier.

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